Handling Loneliness When Your Ex Was Your Best Friend

 Handling Loneliness When Your Ex Was Your Best Friend

Breaking up with someone is hard, but it feels even worse when that person was also your best friend. One day, they’re the person you share everything with—your thoughts, dreams, jokes, and even the small, silly things that happen in your day. The next, they’re gone, and suddenly, there’s an emptiness that feels impossible to fill.

Loneliness after a breakup isn’t just about missing a romantic partner. It’s about losing the person who understood you, the one you turned to when life got tough. It can feel like you lost two people at once—your partner and your best friend.

But even though it feels painful now, you will get through this. In this post, we’ll talk about why loneliness feels so overwhelming after a breakup, how to handle it in a healthy way, and how to rebuild your life without your ex as your go-to person.




Why Does Loneliness Feel So Intense After a Breakup?

Loneliness after a breakup isn’t just about being physically alone. You might be surrounded by friends and family, but still feel an emptiness inside. That’s because losing a best friend means losing an emotional connection that was a big part of your life.

Here are some reasons why loneliness can feel unbearable:

  1. Your Daily Routine Has Changed
    You were used to texting or calling your ex every day, sharing jokes, or talking about your problems. Without that, your routine feels off, and the silence can be painful.

  2. You Feel Like No One Else Understands You Like They Did
    Your ex was the person who “got” you. They knew your quirks, your dreams, and what made you laugh. Finding that kind of connection with someone else feels impossible right now.

  3. You Miss the Comfort of Their Presence
    Even if the relationship wasn’t perfect, there was comfort in having someone there. Whether it was watching movies together, going for walks, or simply knowing they were a text away—it’s hard to adjust to life without them.

  4. You’re Grieving Two Losses at Once
    A breakup is already painful, but losing a best friend too makes it feel twice as bad. It’s a double heartbreak, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.


How to Handle Loneliness in a Healthy Way

The good news? Loneliness won’t last forever. It’s a phase of healing, and with time, you’ll start to feel better. Here are some ways to deal with the loneliness and start rebuilding your life.


1. Accept That It’s Okay to Feel Lonely

The first step to healing is accepting your emotions. It’s normal to feel lonely after losing someone who played such a big role in your life. Instead of pushing the loneliness away or pretending to be fine, acknowledge it.

Try telling yourself:

  • It’s okay that I feel this way.
  • This loneliness is temporary.
  • I am healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

By allowing yourself to feel lonely without judging yourself, you take away its power.


2. Find New Ways to Fill Your Time

One of the hardest parts of a breakup is adjusting to an empty schedule. The time you used to spend talking to your ex now feels like a big, painful gap. Instead of sitting in the loneliness, try filling that space with new activities.

Here are some ideas:

  • Start a new hobby (painting, writing, learning an instrument).
  • Join a class or group (dance, yoga, book club).
  • Spend more time with family or friends.
  • Volunteer—it helps to shift the focus from your own pain to helping others.

Keeping yourself busy doesn’t mean you’re avoiding your feelings—it just helps you move forward in a healthy way.


3. Strengthen Other Friendships

Just because your ex was your best friend doesn’t mean they were the only person who cared about you. Reach out to friends you may have lost touch with during your relationship. Spend time with people who make you feel loved and supported.

Try:

  • Planning a coffee date with a friend.
  • Calling someone just to chat.
  • Saying yes to social invitations, even if you don’t feel like going at first.

Reconnecting with others reminds you that love and connection still exist outside of your past relationship.




4. Express Your Feelings Instead of Bottling Them Up

Loneliness can feel heavier when you keep everything inside. Find ways to express your emotions in a healthy way.

Here are a few ways to let it out:

  • Write in a journal – Pour out your thoughts and feelings without worrying about judgment.
  • Talk to someone you trust – A friend, family member, or therapist can help you process your emotions.
  • Create something – Art, music, or poetry can be a great emotional release.

Talking about your feelings doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re healing.


5. Avoid the Urge to Reach Out to Your Ex

When loneliness hits hard, you might feel the urge to text or call your ex just to feel close to them again. It’s tempting, but it won’t help in the long run.

Before reaching out, ask yourself:

  • Will this truly help me heal, or will it bring more pain?
  • Am I reaching out because I miss them or because I’m scared of being alone?
  • How will I feel if they don’t respond the way I want?

Instead of contacting them, try writing a letter to them (without sending it). Get everything out on paper, then set it aside. Over time, you’ll realize that you don’t need to talk to them to feel okay.


6. Create New Routines for Yourself

Since your ex was part of your daily life, it’s important to build new habits that don’t involve them.

Some ideas:

  • Start a morning or night routine that makes you feel good.
  • Find a new favorite place to eat, walk, or relax.
  • Try new activities that bring joy without reminding you of them.

New routines help your brain adjust to life without them and make the loneliness less noticeable.


7. Be Kind to Yourself

Loneliness can make you feel unworthy or like something is missing in you. But the truth is, you are enough on your own. You don’t need a romantic partner or best friend to feel whole.

Practice self-love by:

  • Speaking kindly to yourself.
  • Doing things that make you happy.
  • Remembering that healing takes time, and that’s okay.

You are growing every day, even if you don’t see it yet.




Final Thoughts: You Will Feel Whole Again

Losing a best friend and a partner at the same time is painful, but it’s not the end of your story. The loneliness you feel now won’t last forever. One day, you’ll wake up and realize that you’re okay. You’ll have new friendships, new routines, and new happiness that isn’t tied to your past.

For now, take it one day at a time. Feel your emotions, but don’t let them define you. You are not alone, and you will find joy again. πŸ’›

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